Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?

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  (646): Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"? http://tfl.nu/cjp8
  Replies (7) Good night (1053) Bad night (494)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  She's JV to your varsity

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  (509): She's JV to your varsity http://tfl.nu/x8vj
  Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (797)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better

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  (713): i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better http://tfl.nu/apc9
  Replies (3) Good night (809) Bad night (2234)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.

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  (604): a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point? (604): unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going. http://tfl.nu/jiid
  Replies (15) Good night (828) Bad night (2091)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with

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  (402): what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with http://tfl.nu/hfaq
  Replies (26) Good night (590) Bad night (2398)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.

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  (919): Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt. http://tfl.nu/oq6j
  Replies (38) Good night (4855) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  where are you?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  sonic

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.

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  (404): where are you? (1-404): sonic (404): Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs. http://tfl.nu/pjgu
  Replies (25) Good night (5192) Bad night (652)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.

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  (864): Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot. http://tfl.nu/kmo6
  Replies (8) Good night (4094) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...

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  (661): Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry... http://tfl.nu/rns6
  Replies (6) Good night (927) Bad night (2242)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.

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  (612): The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable. http://tfl.nu/wu9y
  Replies (20) Good night (3589) Bad night (1301)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.

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  (651): Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me. http://tfl.nu/26ae
  Replies (7) Good night (3373) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Show him your tits if he says no

  (1-209): View more from California

  They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.

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  (209): Show him your tits if he says no (1-209): They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits. http://tfl.nu/0j62
  Replies (8) Good night (2074) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.

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  (504): Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch. http://tfl.nu/bzb1
  Replies (5) Good night (1454) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink

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  (313): You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink http://tfl.nu/6677
  Replies (7) Good night (1736) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.

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  (443): Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love. http://tfl.nu/kdvx
  Replies (2) Good night (496) Bad night (316)

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