I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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