Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza