if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do vagina's smell?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
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filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
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No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.