I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
