I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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