when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
im on a boat
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