Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.

(1-440): View more from Ohio

Why? Who won?

(440): View more from Ohio

we don't know. we ran out of oranges.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

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(250): View more from British Columbia

even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...

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(330): View more from Ohio

theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.

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(206): View more from Washington

I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.

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(510): View more from California

This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.

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(360): View more from Washington

Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.

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