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Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
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