i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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