I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
