and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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