I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize