Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize