I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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