He asked to "fluff my boner.."
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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