okay pat passed out under dana's car
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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