I love black thongs
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
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