Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
