She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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