My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
