That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My ass is underappreciated
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize