If i come over, it means nothing
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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