Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
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I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
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This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.