Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.