when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT