ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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