no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
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Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
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The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops