Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize