I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.