the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked