i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex