you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.