I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
