I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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