when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just googled if crying burns calories
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize