She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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