absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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