It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
