I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize