apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize