mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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