What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize