do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
pray to the hookup gods
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize