brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think your dad took our porno
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize