I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
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Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
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I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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