I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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