Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He kissed a someone with a penis
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
