i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
