i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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