the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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