Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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