Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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(214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8

Replies (37) Good night (8134) Bad night (560)
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(+44): View more from England

You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.

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(+44): You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway. http://tfl.nu/z6cq

Replies (34) Good night (5913) Bad night (1282)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again

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(610): ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again http://tfl.nu/ywr6

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(804): View more from Virginia

Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.

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(804): Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009. http://tfl.nu/yk6t

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this

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(513): I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this http://tfl.nu/r3y4

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.

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(402): I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange. http://tfl.nu/kq15

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(507): View more from Minnesota

It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.

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(507): It's a special occasion. Hence the 151. http://tfl.nu/vp1j

Replies (5) Good night (1802) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question

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(612): The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question http://tfl.nu/cvyj

Replies (8) Good night (3186) Bad night (801)
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(309): View more from Illinois

don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.

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(309): don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia. http://tfl.nu/2ibq

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(678): View more from Georgia

in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm

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(678): in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm http://tfl.nu/30ts

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?

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(+44): I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone? http://tfl.nu/7opu

Replies (4) Good night (2265) Bad night (820)
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(708): View more from Illinois

he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.

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(708): he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay. http://tfl.nu/sfnl

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(850): View more from Florida

Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.

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(850): Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time. http://tfl.nu/840u

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(770): View more from Georgia

You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.

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(770): You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point. http://tfl.nu/sxoa

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.

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(412): So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on. http://tfl.nu/mz2g

Replies (6) Good night (1011) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt

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