at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So drunk its hurt
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.