Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
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I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
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I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.