it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick