i need an iv and a liver transplant
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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