Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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