It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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