this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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