Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween