Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
theres a video...