Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
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he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
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We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious