He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...