i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.